Unraveling the Tangles: Understanding Emotional Dysregulation and Its Impact

Emotional dysregulation means having difficulty controlling emotions and reacting in a way that is considered ”normal.” Emotional dysregulation can occur due to various factors, such as experiencing trauma, sustaining a brain injury, having mental health challenges, being subjected to abuse or neglect, or having a heightened sensitivity to stimuli that makes it easy to become overwhelmed.

Individuals who experience emotional dysregulation may benefit from:

1. Developing awareness, understanding, and acceptance of their emotions

2. Learning adaptive strategies to regulate emotions effectively

3. Cultivating a willingness to experience and navigate through emotional distress

4. Building the capacity to engage in goal-directed behaviors even when feeling distressed

Individuals with emotional dysregulation often experience emotions so profoundly that they can easily become overwhelmed or “flooded” and the intensity of these emotions may precede impulsive behaviors that are regretted later. This is exacerbated if the individual has trauma, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), mental health disorders, or has experienced abuse/neglect because the executive functions and cognitive symptoms associated with their existing problems can carry over to emotional regulation. 

Individuals with emotional dysregulation can internalize emotions, resulting in intense reactions, difficulty calming down, difficulty decreasing negative emotions, difficulty understanding emotions, and avoidance or aggression.

Some individuals with emotional dysregulation may experience externalized emotions: exhibiting more extreme emotions, difficulty identifying emotional cues, difficulty recognizing their own emotions, focusing on the negative, difficulty controlling attention, and difficulty calming down when upset—which may look like rage (to others), lashing out, intense crying, impulsivity, or lack of patience.

Intense emotions =  passionate, fixated, highly motivated (Emotions turned on)

Little to no emotion = disinterest or little motivation (Emotions turned off)

Those who struggle with emotional regulation tend to:

1. become quickly frustrated by minor annoyances

2. fret too much or too long about minor issues

3. feel a sense of urgency to get something they want in the moment

4. have difficulty calming down after getting annoyed or angry

5. feel deeply wounded or take offense at even the most gentle criticism

Managing and regulating emotions can present itself in different ways. Some individuals may struggle to control their anger or stress, finding it challenging to calm down. On the other hand, some individuals may rely on their emotions to motivate themselves when they feel bored.

Emotional dysregulation increases with age.

Let’s understand how emotional regulation works with stimuli and the brain.

1. We interact with the world via our DEFAULT MODE NETWORK (DMN).

1. There is an external trigger or stimulus that we immediately associate with our experiences and our emotional memory (better known as our best guess as to what will happen next).

2. Depending on past associations, we either motivate towards, away from or be indifferent towards

2. After, our self-regulation or our attention via TASK POSITIVE NETWORK (TPN) is activated. This network allows us to focus on details and the future (how can we influence the outcome)

1. We can create new expectations of what will happen and feed it back to the DMN to change how we feel about it.

This important process allows us to pause our immediate emotional reaction to explore detail and other options to stop acting emotionally/in the moment and choose how we want to feel and then act upon it.

When individuals experience emotional dysregulation, the task-positive network does not activate as well as it should, and the default mode network does not turn “down” as it should, which means these individuals’ emotional responses are dominant and exacerbated. Emotional dysregulation makes it hard to redirect emotions or feel able to control how we respond to situations now or in the future.

Referring to the abovementioned emotions “turned on and/or turned off” aspect. Individuals who do not have emotional dysregulation can use a “dimmer switch” versus an on or off switch for emotions–they have more choices and ranges of response because they have gradients of light with their switch.

How do we help?

PRIMING/PAUSING/PROJECTING

Priming is a way to create emotional reference points as stable foundations where we can consciously conjure images of ourselves in our best emotional states. This is preparing yourself for the day ahead of you. How we imagine ourselves emotionally within these situations will be our “next best guess to what will happen next” and help us control how we respond.

1. Ask, how do you want to feel as you move through your day?

2. How do you want to respond to challenges or barriers?

Sometimes we need an emotional plan to prepare for challenges, conversations, feedback, conflict, or any emotionally challenging interaction. Practice how you would respond to these events.

Create a mental image of yourself moving through your day where it is positive, and you are in control while managing daily problems or conflicts.

1. Ensure that you are checking in and/or re-centering yourself.

2. Choose who you want to be in each situation.

3. What do you need (not just want)?

Pausing allows us to interrupt our emotional cascades. What are your coping skills to help delay your immediate emotional reaction? Ensure you are self-aware, work to control your body responses, and check in with yourself.

Projecting allows us to activate our attention and direct emotion toward an objective. We can create the emotion we need.

1. Reinforce your ability to choose how you respond.

2. Build on that mental image of yourself and imagine all positives related to the thing you need/want to do, and then imagine yourself doing it.

3. Diffuse negatives. Notice them and stop them. Replace negatives with positive or realistic mental images.

You can redirect your emotions by using SOLVE.

S- Stop. Move your body and change your perspective. 

O & L- Objectives List. List only what you KNOW, not what you assume. This will activate your attention to detail rather than emotionally driven assumptions and fears.

V- Verbalize. Verbalize the situation so you can hear your own words out loud.

E- Exit. Move to the next task.

Emotions are first reactions and we give them meaning. YOU can shape your emotional experience with practice and support.