90 Seconds to Deeper Connections: Simple Practices for Building Intimacy
Are you looking for ways to strengthen the bond with your partner but feel you don’t have enough time or energy? Small daily gestures that take just a few seconds can help you develop a deeper connection. Check out these effective and simple practices that have helped others cultivate stronger connections with their loved ones.
1. Eye gazing can be a powerful tool to deepen your connection with your partner. By simply holding each other’s gaze for a few moments, you can create a sense of closeness and reassurance. To practice, get close to your partner and place your hand on your heart while holding their left hand. Look into each other’s eyes and enjoy the moment of silence. To make it easier, you and your partner can look at the same eye, such as the left eye. Initially, eye gazing may feel awkward or even silly, and it’s okay to laugh and embrace the moment. Lean into the laughter and enjoy the joy and playfulness that comes with this exercise.
There is no fixed duration for eye gazing. It can last for as long as both partners feel comfortable and connected. However, a common recommendation is to start 30 seconds and gradually increase the time as you become more comfortable. Some couples may find that just a few seconds of eye contact is enough to deepen their connection, while others may enjoy longer sessions that can last up to several minutes. It’s important to communicate with your partner and find a duration that works for both of you.
2. Twenty-second hugs can be a potent method to strengthen your bond. Embrace your partner for 20 seconds and allow yourself to relax and breathe in the hug's comfort. Twenty-second hugs can help release oxytocin, which is sometimes called the “love hormone.” Oxytocin is a hormone that is released in the brain when we experience physical touch, such as hugging, kissing, or holding hands. It has been shown to promote feelings of bonding, trust, and relaxation, and can help reduce stress and anxiety. Longer hugs may help release more oxytocin, leading to a stronger feeling of connection and intimacy with your partner.
3. Dr. John Gottman highly recommends the 6-second kiss, believing that every “hello” and “goodbye” kiss should last for 6 seconds. This can help improve the quality of your relationship, even after an argument or fight. To practice, start with a kiss on the cheek, look into each other’s eyes, and then slowly lean in for the 6-second kiss on the lips. Verbalizing your love for your partner at least once a day can also strengthen your bond, even during busy or stressful times. Before going to bed, take time to connect with your partner through a 6-second kiss and a goodnight hug, spending 3 seconds on the lips and 3 seconds on the neck. Remember to enjoy the moment and have fun with it! This simple act can help foster feelings of closeness and security in your relationship, and who knows, maybe those 6 seconds will turn into something more exciting. ;-)
